older poems THE COMPLETE NICK ARMBRISTER POETRY COLLECTION Volume 1 1996 - 2013

THE COMPLETE NICK ARMBRISTER POETRY COLLECTION Volume 1

1996 - 2013

REED

I bow down to life as it crushes me completely,

relentlessly and incomprehensively.

The pressure is so much, is my breaking point near?

Or will I last out forever while those around me fall?

I don’t know and I can only guess at the outcome

as I take it day by day.

I have so little that I can call my own,

just my things that can be moved in a day.

I had a car and a wife but I was never really happy,

not in the way that love would last forever.

I am like a reed, bending in the wind

but will I break in the hurricane or sway in the breeze?

LIFE STATE

Why do I appear strong to others,

yet appear so vulnerable inside?

What makes emotional loneliness vanish

and happiness shine through?

I have no answer and the gods remain silent.

I sail through these troubled waters all on my own.

Mostly I’m sad, sometimes I’m lonely, rarely happy.

I have tried to meet the “one” but it all ends in tears,

as things come crashing down to die a writhing death.

First my marriage and then me and Debbie.

But what can I do when in my heart something is wrong?

Am I my own enemy, being such a deep person

that no one will understand?

Why, now nearly 30 do I feel so alone?

I hope to pull through to easier times

but for now I wait as life rushes by me.

PLANET

Strange lights in the sky tell that something is wrong.

The continents are shifting and our planet is dying

in her ageless agony.

When the world splits open we will all perish

in Armageddon, but a new beginning will finally come.

It will take so long, maybe fifty million years

but who then will inherit the earth?

How long can man really stay here?

Rising tides, earthquakes and more will be his downfall,

maybe even an alien attack.

Anything is possible on our rock in space.

WHAT I WANT

I want to meet a girl who will be my friend,

someone that makes me laugh and helps me

out when things get tough. I want her

to be first my friend and then my lover,

as I am emotionally vulnerable to any heartbreak.

I want to be accepted for who I am

and not who I’m not. Is such a girl out there,

understanding and caring?

I have met so many over the last few months

but nothing comes of it—only what might have been.

So I patiently wait for the moment to happen,

going through the motions day by day.

MARCH

My head is in bits, don’t know what’s happenin’,

it’s all crazy stuff.

I put an ad in the paper to get a girl,

just like last year and look where that got me—

not a fuckin’ sausage.

They say I’ll find love but when will it happen

and will it last in my precarious life?

I still love a baby girl but our relationship keeps

falling apart, so I try to move on.

It this right, for me to do this and move my life on?

I think it is but only time will tell.

I would like to meet someone who makes me laugh

and to share a life with

but it seems like idle dreaming of a romantic fool.

OUT

So we went out to see a film, with cars and music:

The Fast and The Furious. It’s like old times, you know,

Nick and Deb, when we had that thing.

Now the film ends and we go to your house,

reality hits home in the usual way.

The bloke you met sends you a text “Hello beautiful…”

and then I know it’s time to leave.

The trauma starts as I realise, this is it,

it’s finally over and I have to move on.